Late Show with David Letterman S11E09 · Regis Philbin, Seal

Air date: 2003-09-11

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Overview

Steph/Monty dresses up as Don Mattingly for CBS Mailbag; she closes the segment by playing catch with Dave.

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  1. 1 1. Al Franken, Grant Paulsen2003-09-01Dave chats with Stephanie about a (supposed) incident that occurred over the weekend; Alan makes a suggestive offer to Secretary of Labor Elaine L. Chao; Al Franken promotes his ne
  2. 2 2. Craig Kilborn, Dave Salmoni, Kings of Leon2003-09-02Kings of Leon perform their breakthrough hit, "Molly's Chambers."
  3. 3 3. Gen. Tommy Franks, Rodney Crowell2003-09-03Biff searches for celebrities on the street; recently retired General Tommy Franks looks back at his illustrious military career.
  4. 4 4. Nicolas Cage, Alton Brown2003-09-04"CBS Mailbag," including Stephanie dressed as Batman, "CBS Vice President of Late Night Programming Vinnie Favale," and "George W. Bush" (Gerard).
  5. 5 5. Whoopi Goldberg, Vic Henley, Ima Robot2003-09-05Paul's "Stump the Band" losing streak continues; Whoopi Goldberg promotes her new sitcom.
  6. 6 6. Andy Roddick, Jack Black, Warren Zevon*2003-09-08Dave welcomes 2003 U.S. Open Men's Tennis Champion Andy Roddick and actor Jack Black. Dave remembers the late Warren Zevon with the Show #1895 tape of Warren singing "Mutineer" on
  7. 7 7. Salma Hayek, Chris Elliott2003-09-09Rick Derringer sits in with the band; a woman from Staten Island participates in "May We See Your Digital Photos, Please?"; Chris Elliott comments on current events.
  8. 8 8. Sharon Stone, The Raveonettes2003-09-10An opera singer performs in the hallway; the recently deceased Charles Bronson declares his candidacy for Governor of California; Dave and Sharon Stone make out.
  9. 9 9. Regis Philbin, Seal2003-09-11Steph/Monty dresses up as Don Mattingly for CBS Mailbag; she closes the segment by playing catch with Dave.
  10. 10 10. Cuba Gooding Jr., Simon & Garfunkel2003-09-12Dave has a major announcement to make; Cuba Gooding, Jr. promotes The Fighting Temptations; Paul Simon and Art Garfunkel sing "America" and "The Boxer."
  11. 11 11. Dr. Phil, David Bowie2003-09-22Miss America 2004 Ericka Dunlap presents the Top Ten List; Dave tells the story of his weekend encounter with a bear at his house in Montana; Dr. Phil gives Dave some parenting tip
  12. 12 12. Ben Stiller, Elvis Costello2003-09-23Ben Stiller talks about his new movie, Duplex; Elvis Costello performs a song from his new CD, North.
  13. 13 13. The Rock, Lynne Cheney2003-09-24Cold opening: The Rock shows Lynne Cheney how to apply a "chicken wing" to Paul; New York Giants kicker Matt Bryant attempts rooftop field goals across 53rd Street.
  14. 14 14. Colin Powell, Jennifer Garner2003-09-25
  15. 15 15. Joe Pantaliano, Kevin Nealon, Outkast2003-09-26Stephanie is Peter Pan for "CBS Mailbag;" "Joey Pants" promotes "The Handler;" Kevin Nealon; Outkast sings "Hey Ya."
  16. 16 16. Denzel Washington, New York Philharmonic2003-09-29Paul asks "Survivor 7" castaway Ryan "Skinny" Shoulders (who is wearing a Rage Against The Machine t-shirt) if he digs Audioslave; Denzel Washington promotes Out of Time; The New Y
  17. 17 17. Tom Cavanagh, Ray Wald, Dido2003-09-30It's time for "How Many Guys in Gorilla Suits Can Fit Into a Eyeglass Store?" Quote Dave: "I was going to buy a pair of eyeglasses, but the optical store was full of gorillas."
  18. 18 18. Tim Robbins, Sting2003-10-01The latest role call reveals that Michele O'Callaghan's five-month-old daughter (named "Zoogie") picks Dave's ties; Dave and Paul are dumbfounded by a pitching machine in a new gam
  19. 19 19. Stupid Human Tricks, Lisa Kudrow, R.E.M.2003-10-02Steph/Monty dresses as a letter carrier for "Know Your Current Events;" R.E.M. performs "Bad Day."
  20. 20 20. Robin Williams, Summerwind Skippers2003-10-03During CBS Mailbag, Alan dresses up as Saddam Hussein for his new hidden-camera show "Goof'd!" and gets beat up by several people on the street. Later, Robin Williams comments on
  21. 21 21. Jessica Simpson, Rufus Wainwright2003-10-06Jessica Simpson mentions that she was on Oprah recently, much to Dave's chagrin; fill-in bandleader Todd Rundgren sings "Hello It's Me;" Pat Farmer drops 20,000 ping-pong balls fro
  22. 22 22. Uma Thurman, Ricky Gervais, Renee Fleming2003-10-07
  23. 23 23. Amy Sedaris, Tom Dreesen, Anthony Hamilton2003-10-08Dave calls ousted California governor Gray Davis "a wanker;" Gary Coleman presents the Top Ten via satellite, then falls asleep; Tom Dressen talks baseball.
  24. 24 24. George Clooney, Merle Haggard2003-10-09A man from Charlotte, North Carolina plays "Know Your 2003 Boston Red Sox;" ten Hooters Girls present the Top Ten; George Clooney plugs Intolerable Cruelty.
  25. 25 25. Charlie Sheen, John Mayer2003-10-10During CBS Mailbag, Alan has an awkward reunion with the first girl that ever kissed him, and "Ah-nuld" (Gerard) has an enlightened conversation with Dave. Later, Charlie Sheen pr
  26. 26 26. Halle Berry, Lance Armstrong2003-10-13Pat Farmer and an army of stagehands throws a special form of confetti off the roof of the theater; Steph/Monty tells "Survivor 7" loser Burton Roberts an alleged story about a woo
  27. 27 27. John Cusack, Scott Dixon, Hot Hot Heat2003-10-14For the first time in several years, famed saxophonist David Sanborn sits in with the band; Dave announces he's going to rehab, then demands to have some Dunkin' Donuts; John Cusac
  28. 28 28. Katie Holmes, Brian Greene, Jonny Lang2003-10-15Dave congratulates Conan O'Brien on his newborn daughter; ten weightlifters present the Top Ten; noted physics professor Brian Greene tries to explain the mysteries of the universe
  29. 29 29. Dustin Hoffman, Jamie Oliver2003-10-16Ten US Soldiers in Iraq present the Top Ten via satellite; Dustin Hoffman plugs "The Runaway Jury," British chef Jamie Oliver cooks some scallops.
  30. 30 30. Darrell Hammond, Radiohead2003-10-17For CBS Mailbag, Steph/Monty dresses up as a soccer player and kicks balls (poorly) into the audience. Later, Radiohead performs "2+2=5."
  31. 31 31. Kiefer Sutherland, Emmylou Harris2003-10-27Paul sneezes during the monologue; the band area is remodeled; Biff makes his annual report from the World Series; a 1,030-pound pumpkin explodes (via SFX) outside.
  32. 32 32. Courteney Cox, Doris Roberts2003-10-28Dave announces that he's been transferred to Chesterton, Indiana; on tonight's "Meet the Governor," a young Ah-nuld ogles an exotic dancer; Courtney Cox Arquette almost sings TLC's
  33. 33 33. Keanu Reeves, Sue Johanson2003-10-29Steph/Monty dresses up as an elf on a rare Wednesday CBS Mailbag; during Mailbag, Rupert takes part in his yearly tradition of watching the coleslaw change colors; Dave is so fasci
  34. 34 34. Eric McCormack, Dante Hall2003-10-30The Slapinski Brothers, world-class jugglers, interrupt the monologue; Dave points out that Rupert was on last night's episode of "Ed"; Dante Hall of the Kansas City Chiefs catches
  35. 35 35. Pamela Anderson, Amanda Lollar, Bubba Sparxx2003-10-31Amongst this year's "New Halloween Costumes": a George Foreman grill, the button on the remote control that you never use, and the "Queer Eye" fab five. Also, Rosie Perez delivers
  36. 36 36. Ashley Judd, Richard Belzer, Sarah McLachlan2003-11-03The 2003 NYC Marathon winners make their annual run through the studio; eliminated "Survivor 7" hopefuls Shawn Cohen (who was voted out) and Osten Taylor (the guy who quit the game
  37. 37 37. Regis Philbin, Amy Brenneman2003-11-04Dave gives a recap of the events leading up to -- and including -- the birth yesterday of son Harry Joseph Letterman; "Indian Larry" performs motorcycle stunts on 53rd Street; Regi
  38. 38 38. Will Ferrell, Jack McKeon, Lyle Lovett2003-11-05During Mailbag, Steph/Monty dresses up a police officer, while Dave tries to make some sense out of "Liza Minnelli" (Gerard in fishnet stockings). Later, it is revealed that the w
  39. 39 39. Howard Stern, Iggy Pop with Sum 412003-11-06Amongst the "New Catalogs": Harry & David Pre-Owned Fruit, Victoria's Secret for Monkeys, and special edition of California Style in which all the models have been groped by Arnold
  40. 40 40. Lauren Graham, Paul Tracey, Wyclef Jean2003-11-07An elf named Perry helps out during "Know Your Current Events"; Bert and Ernie (of "Sesame Street" fame) diss Dave; Lauren Graham talks about a recent parking ticket.
  41. 41 41. Norm MacDonald, Jack Hannah2003-11-10Dave announces that Oprah gave him a gift on behalf of the new baby, only to realize that it was delivered by somebody with the same name; throughout the night, weightlifter Willie
  42. 42 42. Madonna, Chris Elliot2003-11-11Cold Opening: Dave compliments Madonna's latest children's book: "I like the picture of the monkey." Also, Chris Elliott introduces Dave's son Harry, who says his first words: "S*
  43. 43 43. Tom Brokaw, Dolly Parton2003-11-12
  44. 44 44. Russell Crowe, Pink2003-11-13A sheep herder walks into the theater with his flock along side him; Pink sings "Trouble."
  45. 45 45. Jessica Lynch, Shelby Lynne2003-11-14During "Know Your Current Events," a visiting audience member from Liverpool, England is quizzed on his knowledge of Prince Charles. Later, potential Minnesota gubernatorial candi
  46. 46 46. Stupid Pet Tricks, Cate Blanchett2003-11-17As part of his legendary "fashion show" gag, Dave models the lining of his sportcoat; Dave tells a story involving a mother and two sons trying to hitch a taxi this morning; a time
  47. 47 47. Dakota Fanning, Rocco DiSpirito, Cast of Wicked2003-11-18An arm-wresting challenge is held at Hello Deli; child actress Dakota Fanning plugs "The Cat in the Hat."
  48. 48 48. Alec Baldwin, Freddy Adu, Cyndi Lauper2003-11-19
  49. 49 49. Wesley Clark2003-11-20Ashrita "Mr. Versatility" Furman balances beer glasses on his chin on 53rd St.; eleven Playboy Playmates present the Top Ten; Dave grills General Wesley Clark about his dismissal f
  50. 50 50. Robert Downey Jr., Joss Stone2003-11-21Dave and Paul play "Potatoes or Gavin MacLeod?"; Dave openly wishes that Paris Hilton had not cancelled her appearance on the show next week; Robert Downey Jr. makes his first appe
  51. 51 51. Paul Newman, Clay Aiken2003-11-24Biff spends a day on the campaign trail with Howard Dean; Gerard stands in for unavailable Survivor loser Rupert Boneham; Paul Newman discusses all things auto racing; Clay Aiken s
  52. 52 52. Tom Ridge, Puddle of Mudd2003-11-25Cold Opening: Tom Ridge finks on Michael Jackson. Also, Dave has yet another rant about Paris Hilton, claiming that she won't be on because a "no-good weasel, beady-eyed putz publ
  53. 53 53. Mike Myers, Jay-Z2003-11-26During Mailbag, Harold Larkin tries a new product, then, in honor of Thanksgiving, starts bleeding gravy; Mike Myers plugs The Cat in the Hat.
  54. 54 54. Tom Arnold, Moby2003-11-27Dorothy (live via satellite) brags about her five grandkids, ranging between 32 years and one month in age, and again stumps Dave with her apple and pecan Thanksgiving pies; Bill D
  55. 55 55. Jessica Alba, Wendy Liebman, The Rapture2003-11-28Felecia makes fun of Donny Osmond during "Stump The Band;" former "Dark Angel" star Jessica Alba plugs Honey; The Rapture performs "House of Jealous Lovers."
  56. 56 56. Matt Damon, Jack Johnson and G. Love2003-12-08Rupert is almost omnipresent in the first half of the show, presenting footage of his trip to the Meadowlands for last week's Jets-Titans game, then chats with ousted Survivor Chri
  57. 57 57. Danny DeVito, Tim Russert2003-12-09Dave mentions that his son likes to suck his nose; Biff & staff decorate taxi cabs for Christmas; Danny DeVito plugs Big Fish.
  58. 58 58. Amanda Peet, Barry Sonnenfeld2003-12-10During Mailbag, the voices in Alan's head result in the horrific demise of his precious ceramic figure collection. Also, upon reading an article in Time about Oprah's refusal to h
  59. 59 59. Kirsten Dunst, Rod Stewart2003-12-11
  60. 60 60. Julia Roberts, Alkaline Trio2003-12-12Dave announces that he's been invited to appear on Oprah (at long, long last), while Julia Roberts interrogates Dave for his inability to marry the mother of his child.
  61. 61 61. Liv Tyler, John Witherspoon, Alicia Keys2003-12-15It's a Late Show mini-reunion as former Broadway merchants Mujibur, Sirajul, and Joe G. join Rupert in decorating the Late Show Christmas Tree. Also, Dave comments on Saddam's cap
  62. 62 62. Barbara Walters, Sandra Diaz-Twine2003-12-16
  63. 63 63. Neve Campbell, Wellwater Conspiracy2003-12-17During Mailbag, Dave tries to make sense out of "Saddam Hussein" (Gerard), while a reindeer takes a dump onstage. Also, Neve Campbell promotes the upcoming Robert Altman film "The
  64. 64 64. Bonnie Hunt, Dave Matthews2003-12-18
  65. 65 65. Charlize Theron, Dave Matthews2003-12-19During "Audience Show & Tell," a man recites the names of all 50 states in alphabetical order in just fifteen seconds. Also, Golden Globe nominee Charlize Theron promotes "Monster
  66. 66 66. Steve Martin, Shannon Eis2003-12-22Dave mentions some strange advice his mother gave him about Harry: "Well, David, I think it would be nice if one day he joined a gang." Also, "The Kalter Brothers" sing "The Littl
  67. 67 67. Renee Zellweger, Darlene Love2003-12-23It's the annual "Holiday Night" on the Late Show: Paul does his impersonation of Cher singing "O Holy Night;" Jay Thomas successfully dethrones the objects on top of the Late Show
  68. 68 68. Jennifer Aniston, Ryan Adams2004-01-05Dave brings out Biff and thanks him, Paul, the USO and a variety of soldiers for making the Christmas Eve trip to Baghdad possible; in the premiere edition of "Will It Explode?" Pa
  69. 69 69. Jennifer Connelly, Christopher Paolini2004-01-06
  70. 70 70. Eddie Griffin, Marv Albert2004-01-07Dave celebrate's Steph/Monty's birthday with a cake that reads "Happy Birthday Tammi!" Also, recent baseball Hall of Fame inductees Paul Molitor and Dennis Eckersley present the T
  71. 71 71. Nathan Lane, Ruben Studdard2004-01-08During his interview with Nathan Lane, Dave suggests to Paul that they should perform together in the musical "The Producers." Also, Ruben Stoddard performs "Sorry 2004."
  72. 72 72. Billy Bob Thornton2004-01-09It's time for another round of "Stump the Band," and as usual Paul does his Carnac schtick; ten interns present the Top Ten; Billy Bob Thornton describes his short-lived tenure as
  73. 73 73. Patricia Heaton, Kate Bosworth2004-01-12Dave goes on a rant about Jay Leno's appearance on CBS' "People's Choice Awards" home site, while Dick Gephardt presents the Top Ten.
  74. 74 74. Jeff Daniels, Isaiah Thomas, The Shins2004-01-13
  75. 75 75. Bette Midler, Howie Day2004-01-14Mailbag: Alan gets clobbered by an angry Irishman, George Clarke takes a shower with former basketball star Manute Bol, and Steph/Monty gives heart surgery fun facts. Also, Howie
  76. 76 76. Dave Chapelle, Carmen Electra2004-01-15Throughout the night, foreigners tell jokes; Dave and Paul play a new game called "Mars or Nevada?" then come to agree that it's utterly stupid; Al Roker presents the Top Ten; Carm
  77. 77 77. Christina Aquilera, Gary Muledeer2004-01-16During "Audience Show & Tell," a woman from Texas shows off photos of her Chinese hairless in various costumes; Dave reads a fan letter from someone whose life depends upon "Will I
  78. 78 78. Jessica Simpson & Nick Lachey, Al Green2004-01-19Stephanie demonstrates her ex-boyfriend's lackluster dancing abilities once more; John McEnroe does the Top Ten and promotes his new talk show at the same time; Gavin MacLeod makes
  79. 79 79. Ashton Kutcher, Paula Abdul2004-01-20Singer-songwriter John Mayer sits in; Dave shows footage of Howard Dean's head exploding; in the latest edition of "Pat Farmer's Gaffe Alert," our favorite film-loving stagehand po
  80. 80 80. Kristin Davis, Joe Simpson2004-01-21Dave does a really bad Howard Dean impression; during Mailbag, Rupert puts a ruined slice of turkey in the soup of the day; Dave chats with a mountain climber with an epic story of
  81. 81 81. Matthew Broderick, Jim Garvin2004-01-22Dave shows several photos that answer the question "What's the Deal with Donald Trump's Hair?;" Howard Dean presents the Top Ten live via satellite from New Hampshire.
  82. 82 82. Al Franken, Jake Johannsen, Phantom Planet2004-01-23Al Franken comments on his trip to Iraq; Phantom Planet performs "Big Brat."
  83. 83 83. Regis Philbin, The Thrills2004-02-02Dave mentions the passing of influential late night great Jack Paar; Biff introduces his annual "Biff at the Super Bowl" segment; Bill DeLace does another Top Ten remote, this time
  84. 84 84. Harry Connick Jr., Sean Astin2004-02-03Dave announces that after 22 years on the wagon, he would like to start drinking again, but only during the show. Later, he wishes Oprah a belated happy 50th birthday.
  85. 85 85. Bill Belichick, Cindy Crawford2004-02-04Dave mentions that water is not running in the building for the time being; during Mailbag, Pat Farmer tortures a stagehand with a George Foreman Grill; Dave shows a (bogus) clip o
  86. 86 86. Hilary Swank, Todd Barry, Nellie McKay2004-02-06Dave recaps last night's accident on 53rd Street: snowboarder Tara Dakides slid off a landing platform and fell to the pavement. She was taken to New York's Bellevue Hospital, and
  87. 87 87. Dr. Phil, Tara Dakides, Clip of The Beatles2004-02-09Dave chats with snowboarder Tara Dakides, whose accident during a demonstration on 53rd Street cancelled the taping of last Thursday's episode. Also, in honor of the 40th Annivers
  88. 88 88. Drew Barrymore, Jack Hanna2004-02-10Rupert selects a 53rd Street Loser to play "What Did Merv Have For Lunch;" Drew Barrymore and Jack Hanna remain clothed during their segments.
  89. 89 89. Adam Sandler, Eve2004-02-11Dave tries out a new catchphrase: "Ba da boom, ba da bing." Also, Steph/Monty dresses up a 1980s-era Olympic hockey player, and Dave goes back to calling her "Smitty."
  90. 90 90. Bill Murray, Jermaine O'Neal2004-02-12Throughout the night, the CBS Orchestra plays songs by Air Supply; Dave mentions that the continent of Australia has demanded to see that clip of the monkey washing a cat; Bill Mur
  91. 91 91. Alec Baldwin, Sofia Coppola, Kylie Minogue2004-02-13This week's "Will It Float?" item is a box of chocolates; Alec Baldwin and Sofia Coppola visit; Kylie Minogue performs "Red Blooded Women."
  92. 92 92. Stupid Human Tricks, Ray Romano, Kayne West2004-02-16Dave makes fun of a new commercial, and the clip is repeated throughout the broadcast; during "Stupid Human Tricks," a man stuffs his mouth with a tennis ball; Ray Romano promotes
  93. 93 93. Kelly Ripa, Lindsay Lohan2004-02-17Leon Russell sits in; Dave is still fascinated by a quote from last night's film trailer ("If you need help, here I am") and repeats it several times throughout the show; Dale Earn
  94. 94 94. Ashley Judd, Ben Harper2004-02-18Mailbag: Steph/Monty/Smitty is dressed up as Dale Earnhardt, Jr., while "Senator John Kerry" (Gerard) brags about the perks of being married to the heir of a ketchup empire. Also,
  95. 95 95. Gordon Geisbrecht, Sarah Jessica Parker, Nelly Furtado2004-02-19Noted hypothermia expert Dr. Gordon Geisbrecht jumps into a tank of icewater to demonstrate its effects; the US Senate announces that when referring to George W. Bush, "president"
  96. 96 96. Amber Tamblyn, Brian Regan, Leona Naess2004-02-20During "Audience Show & Tell," Dave meets a former White House intern; George Clarke fills in for Kiva "Grinder Girl" Kahl during "Will It Float?"; comedian Brian Regan comments on
  97. 97 97. Jeff Goldblum, Norah Jones2004-02-23Demolition demo (shut down by Hizzoner Bloomberg's office) on 53rd St. turns into Pat Farmer dropping stuff off the roof; Survivor loser Rob Cesternino drops by Rupert's; Jeff Gold
  98. 98 98. Edie Falco, Steven Bailey, Edie Brickell2004-02-24It's "Steve and Edie" night on the Late Show: Edie Falco promotes the upcoming fifth season of "The Sopranos;" Dave meets Steven Bailey of "My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiancé" fame; Edie
  99. 99 99. Diane Sawyer, Benjamin McKenzie2004-02-25Stephanie/Monty/Smitty is in dentist garb (and Dave-ordered model posture) for "CBS Mailbag;" Diane Sawyer gushes over Oprah Winfrey's 50th birthday party; Benjamin McKenzie ("The
  100. 100 100. Stupid Pet Tricks, Tim Robbins, Evanescence2004-02-26Dave shows an (bogus) political ad in which Dennis Kucinich announces he's marrying Lorenzo Lamas; in an all-dog edition of "Stupid Pet Tricks," one canine says hello to Dave; Erne
  101. 101 101. Bill Cosby, Toby Lightman2004-02-27On "Audience Show & Tell," Dave make his contribution to an audience member's collection of gum chewed by celebrities; "Will It Float?" sinks a tray of billiard balls; Bill Cosby d
  102. 102 102. Anne Heche, Cee-Lo2004-03-01The studio audience votes Dave off the show, so Gaines orders Paul to take over during "Survivor Loser." When Dave reappears during Paul's interview with Richard Hatch, Paul goes
  103. 103 103. Turkey Callers, Julia Stiles, Jessica Simpson2004-03-02National Turkey Calling champs are trotted out; Ryan Seacrest presents the "Top Ten Catch Phrases Ryan Seacrest Rejected Before 'Seacrest Out!'" (via satellite); Julia Stiles visit
  104. 104 104. Ben Stiller, Robert Rudolph and The Family Band2004-03-03During Mailbag, Biff goes to bed with a guy named Cameron Diaz; George Clarke fills in for Anna Jack on hula hoop; Alan admits to a $1000-a-week addiction to Vicodin; Robert Randol
  105. 105 105. Viggo Mortensen, Sting, Bill Murray2004-03-04Dave announces that he's on steroids, then shows before-and-after photos to prove his point; Biff goes on a cruise; the outside cam finds Bill Murray lying in the gutter, a despera
  106. 106 106. Charles Grodin, Chloe Pang2004-03-05Twelve-year-old piano prodigy Chloe Pang plays Bach's "Goldberg Variations." Dave is almost brought to tears by the performance, declaring it one of the show's best.
  107. 107 107. Jim Carrey, Steve Winwood2004-03-15Dave points out that for the nineteenth year in a row, the WMDB/CBS Orchestra will be the house band for the Rock n' Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremonies; Dave and Les Moonves ch
  108. 108 108. Kate Winslet, Bruce McCall, The Vines2004-03-16After two weeks of plugging their product, Dave shows a single Shick Quattro razor the company sent, and reads a very peculiar letter to Gaines from someone in the company; the Top
  109. 109 109. Courtney Love2004-03-17
  110. 110 110. Tom Hanks, N.E.R.D.2004-03-22Cold opening: Tom Hanks gives Harry Letterman an Oscar, and Dave accepts it on his behalf. Later, the Ladykillers star gives the absentee infant a $50 savings bond, while Congress
  111. 111 111. Jamie Foxx, Al Franken2004-03-23All-American basketball player Andre Barrett throws various items off the roof, aiming towards a basketball hoop at ground level, the misses the basket on all six chances. Also, A
  112. 112 112. Ricky Gervais, Blondie2004-03-24Mailbag: George Clarke's attempt at surgically losing weight is thwarted when some guy steals his clothes. Also, Blondie performs "Good Boys."
  113. 113 113. Janet Jackson, John Mayer2004-03-29Throughout the night, Columbia University professor and 1999 Nobel laureate in economics Dr. Robert Mundell tells lame redneck jokes; Bill DeLace presents another hidden-camera rem
  114. 114 114. Matthew Perry, Lou Reed2004-03-30After weeks of shilling their product, Dave finally receives a thousand Schick Quattro razors in the mail, then promises to give them out to the audience. Unfortunatly, Gaines and
  115. 115 115. Johnny Knoxville, Sahr Singh, The Walkmen2004-03-31
  116. 116 116. The Rock, Liz Phair2004-04-01A minor controversy that started earlier in the week is resolved by a very apologetic CNN anchorwoman (see recap). Also, Dave congratulates Craig Kilborn on five years at CBS.
  117. 117 117. Tyler Crotty, Michael Imperioli, Jim Gaffigan2004-04-02Audience Show & Tell: a husband and wife tandem demonstrates a neat trick involving a yo-yo and a shiny quarter. Also, Dave chats with Tyler Crotty, the tired pre-teen who has bee
  118. 118 118. Bruce Willis, Renee Askins2004-04-06The Top Ten list is now sponsored by rake-attack.com, while Bruce Willis shows off his new, stealthy, Trump-style hairpiece.
  119. 119 119. Jimmy Fallon, Anne Hathaway, Usher2004-04-07
  120. 120 120. Billy Crystal, Alex Rodriguez2004-04-12Alan brings a video of celebrity well-wishers for Dave's 57th birthday (just a tape of a fleeing Regis); it's "More With Les," as Dave phones up CBS-TV head honcho Les Moonves; Bil
  121. 121 121. Chris Rock, The Upside Down Act2004-04-13Biff makes his annual trip to Spring Training, where he for the second year in a row, he and Hideki Matsui perform Abbott & Costello's "Who's on First?" routine; Jerry turns Dave u
  122. 122 122. Amy Sedaris, Damien Rice2004-04-14Mailbag: After noticing that a letter-writer misspelled his name, Paul comes with a homonym for his moniker, resulting in a rival homonym from Biff. Also, Dave kisses a donkey, wh
  123. 123 123. David Duchovny, Chris Russo2004-04-15In the "season finale" of "Trump or Monkey?," a dancer from the musical Hairspray wins an alleged trip to Acapulco; David Duchovny discusses his son's linguistic skills; after gett
  124. 124 124. Phil Mickelson, Kathryn Morris, Patti Smith2004-04-16Phil Mickelson brags about his victory at the 2004 Masters; James Lipton delivers Paul's cape.
  125. 125 125. Megan Mullally, Eli Manning, Diana Krall2004-04-26al-Qaeda takes responsibility for Derek Jeter's batting slump; Dave resurrects his two favorite Cold Mountain sound clips; stuntman "Magic Brian" eats a lightbulb.
  126. 126 126. Andy Richter, Davy Rothbart, Mary Chapin Carpenter2004-04-27Dave declares that the new mission statement for the Late Show will be "We are here for you. We'll make things better." Also, Rupert hosts the debut edition of "Stop the Pump," a g
  127. 127 127. Julianne Moore, Robert Klein, Todd Rundgren2004-04-28Dave announces that he's going to be "more dynamic," resulting in spasm-like movements by him and Paul; to accompany Steph/Monty/Smitty dressing as Amelia Earhart for Mailbag, Dave
  128. 128 128. Kelly Ripa, Jennie Finch2004-04-29The theater audience is given the option of either having Tom Hanks drop by or watch stock footage of a camel on skis. Dave claims the camel tape won. Also, Dave thinks he's addi
  129. 129 129. Hillary Clinton, The Roots2004-04-30An audience member turns her hand 360 degrees; Hillary Clinton discusses her husband's book and the war in Iraq; The Roots perform "Don't Say Nuthin'."
  130. 130 130. Stupid Pet Tricks, David Spade, Loretta Lynn & Jack White2004-05-03
  131. 131 131. Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, Adam Brody2004-05-04Nobel Economics Prize winner Robert Mundell tells "Yo Mama" jokes; a woman off the street pretends to be in an earthquake with Rupert; Survivor All-Stars loser Shii-Ann Huang prese
  132. 132 132. Kate Beckinsale, Sue Johanson2004-05-05
  133. 133 133. Diving Dogs, Tina Fey, Morgan Spurlock2004-05-06
  134. 134 134. Kelsey Grammar, Orchestra Baobob with Trey Anastasio and Dave Matthews2004-05-07Ten celebrity moms (including Dorothy and Gerard as "Betty Lou Roberts") present the Top Ten, and later the faux mother of Julia Roberts delivers Paul's cape.
  135. 135 135. Amber Brkich, Regis Philbin, Black-Eyed Peas2004-05-10Dave announces that motorcyclist "Johnny McCoy" will be performing a very dangerous and complicated stunt out on 53rd Street, but it ends up getting cancelled; Dave makes Jerry pla
  136. 136 136. David Hyde Pierce, David Byrne2004-05-11
  137. 137 137. John McCain, Tom Dreesen2004-05-12
  138. 138 138. Stupid Pet Tricks, Hugh Jackman2004-05-13
  139. 139 139. Amy Sedaris, Modest Mouse2004-05-14A special edition of the show taped in the middle of the night. Dave arrives on horseback; vermin expert Robert Sullivan searches for rats; Dave shows footage of Eric Stangel tryin
  140. 140 140. Antonio Banderas, Alanis Morrisette2004-05-17
  141. 141 141. Charlie Sheen, Jack Hanna2004-05-18Chef Emil Castillo makes a $1000 frittata (read: omelet), and when completed, Dave smothers it with ketchup; Dave pays tribute to Tony Randall, who passed on that morning; Dave res
  142. 142 142. Kiefer Sutherland, Incubus2004-05-19Dave gives Steph/Monty/Smitty another weird nickname ("Gunther") while baseball star Randy "Big Unit" Johnson presents a perfect game-themed Top Ten.
  143. 143 143. Kate Hudons, Outkast2004-05-20
  144. 144 144. Ellen DeGeneres, The Strokes2004-05-21Dave claims he has a rare form of tuberculosis, and that a Dave stand-in is waiting backstage for when the time comes; Kiva "Grinder Girl" Kahl reports from her apartment in Brookl
  145. 145 145. Nicole Kidman, Avril Lavigne2004-05-24Dave's stand-in is still waiting for his cue; Dave demands to hear the airplane and Cold Mountain SFX again; the stars of The Sopranos perform the Top Ten; Nicole Kidman makes her
  146. 146 146. Dennis Quaid, Velvet Revolver2004-05-25Dave congratulates Sid McGinnis on becoming a grandfather; karate expert Leif Becker attempts to break 500 boards in a minute, but ends up tying his personal record of 415; ten NBA
  147. 147 147. Mandy Moore, Nate Erwin, Counting Crows2004-05-26Mailbag: Steph/Smitty/Gunther is dressed up as Rahal/Letterman racer Buddy Rice; the upcoming cable channel "Logo" declares the Late Show "the gayest show on television;" Dave is i
  148. 148 148. Darrell Hammond, blink-1822004-05-27Dave announces that he's had another falling-out with CBS, which may or may not give him the justification to mock the network again; hundreds of sailors walk onstage for "Is This
  149. 149 149. Andy Dick, Bob Woodward2004-05-28A 1 1/2 pound Porterhouse steak is subjected to "Will It Float?" and despite Dave's scientific argument that a dead animal would more than likely float in water, the meat sinks. A
  150. 150 150. Bill Murray, P.J. Harvey2004-06-07Dave brags about his Indy 500 win last week; Alan's recap of the first game of the NBA Finals turns into a striptease; Bill Murray announces that he's now moonlighting as a circus
  151. 151 151. Bette Midler, David Tidmarsh2004-06-08In honor of one of tonight's guests (a spelling bee champ), Dave mentions that the most commonly used word in the English language is "biscuit"; a new game called "Cicada/Secada" i
  152. 152 152. Buddy Rice, Christopher Walken, Kid Rock2004-06-09Dave and Paul have a heated discussion over who would win a fight- "badass" Kid Rock or "nerves of steel" Buddy Rice; during Mailbag, Biff goes to Wisconsin to help out a law stude
  153. 153 153. Matthew Broderick, Jamie Cullum2004-06-10In honor of his death earlier that day, Paul and the band performs Ray Charles' "What'd I Say"; Dave sends Matthew Broderick outside to get hosed with water; jazz pianist Jamie Cul
  154. 154 154. P. Diddy, Jim Gaffigan2004-06-11Jim Gaffigan comments on married life and becoming a father for the first time. Also, Paul Anka delivers Paul's cape for this Friday night James Brown homage, then in honor of the
  155. 155 155. Paris Hilton, Patti Scalfa2004-06-14Dave shows us another photo of Harry; Paris Hilton discusses The Simple Life and her now-infamous sex tape; Patti Scialfa (Mrs. Bruce Springsteen) performs "23rd Street Lullaby."
  156. 156 156. Ben Stiller, Beastie Boys2004-06-15To further promote Popeye's Green Beans, Dave and Paul eat Popeye's chicken and give fun facts; Ben Stiller attempts to break windows across the street with a dodge-ball, but ends
  157. 157 157. Chauncey Billups, Dana Carvey, Wilco2004-06-16
  158. 158 158. Vince Vaughn, Margaret Cho2004-06-17
  159. 159 159. Michael Moore, Jennifer Hawkins, Los Lobos2004-06-18Michael Moore discusses his infamous speech at the 2003 Oscars and promotes Fahrenheit 9/11; Dave tries on Miss Universe's sash and tiara; Los Lobos performs "Charmed."
  160. 160 160. Larry Brown, Sean Hayes, Phish2004-06-21Throughout the night, George Clarke eats fish sticks on the roof to honor a certain band performing on the marquee; for the third night in a row, Dave shows (well-edited) footage o
  161. 161 161. Kevin Kline, Nicole Richie2004-06-22Dave announces that he and Paul will be in this weekend's Gay Pride parade; past contestant Jennie Ford plays "Super Trump or Monkey;" Ken Griffey, Jr. presents the Top Ten; Nicole
  162. 162 162. David Alan Grier, Britton Keeshan, the Von Bondies2004-06-23
  163. 163 163. Kid Inventors, Shawn Wayans, Secret Machines2004-06-24During a "New Products" segment, Dave sinks his teeth into some charcoal briquets, which he swallows with mouthwash. Also, The Secret Machines (in their TV debut) perform "Now Her
  164. 164 164. Bonnie Hunt, Dylan Moran2004-06-25"Know Your Current Events" is played for the first time in over six months; Dave spills coffee on his lap, and Paul suggests hydrogen peroxide to clean it off; "Dwight the Troubled
  165. 165 165. Piedmont Bird Callers, Kirsten Dunst, Chris Robinson2004-06-28Dave admits that after spending all weekend watching documentaries about building motorcycles, he wants a hog for himself. At the end of the show, Dave forms a motorcycle "gang" w
  166. 166 166. Keira Knightly, Joseph Wilson2004-06-29A husband and wife combo plays the "Late Show Bill Clinton Memoir Challenge," in which they must find the name "Monica" in his new book within thirty seconds. Later, Pat and Kenny
  167. 167 167. Ethan Hawke, Jon Heder2004-06-30Dave turns on the hose-cam again, shooting water at unsuspecting passersby; during Mailbag, Dave shows footage from the new Spiderman movie (actually the classic 60's cartoon) of D
  168. 168 168. Will Ferrell, Dashboard Confessional2004-07-01Two lumberjacks compete against each other out on 53rd Street, while Will Ferrell shows Dave a home movie of his four-month-old "baby" (a sports car).
  169. 169 169. Christina Applegate, David Sedaris2004-07-02The musical talents of Paul, Felecia, and Bruce are laid to waste once more on "Stump the Band"; "Fat Spider-Man" (George Clarke) presents a remote Top Ten; David Sedaris reads an
  170. 170 170. Kristin Davis, Ali G2004-07-12In the debut edition of "Where They Would Have Gone For Their Summer Vacation," Biff tells Dave that Charles Bronson would've gone to Mohegan Sun Casino in Connecticut; Jeopardy! s
  171. 171 171. Will Smith, Jet2004-07-13Dave continues to discuss motorcycles; Alan's baseball commentary is interrupted by the return of that guy who used to beat the daylights out of him several years back; to prove so
  172. 172 172. Hilary Duff, Jonathan Ames2004-07-14Dave compares President Bush to Porky Pig; during Mailbag, a young, fairweather Letterman fan is thrown out of the theater; Hilary Duff promotes A Cinderella Story.
  173. 173 173. Cedric the Entertainer, Laird Hamilton2004-07-15
  174. 174 174. Julianna Marguiles, Bob Sarlatte, Ashlee Simpson2004-07-16Audience Show & Tell: Dave chats with a meteorologist from Connecticut who was once mentioned on "Know Your Current Events." Also, Dorothy celebrates her 83rd birthday with a Dave
  175. 175 175. Denzel Washington, Jim Rome2004-07-19Dave gloats over Rahal/Letterman Racing's visit to the White House earlier in the day; three stagehands attempt to smear a camera lens with sunscreen from 90 feet above street leve
  176. 176 176. Halley Berry, Maria Mena2004-07-20In honor of the 35th anniversary of the moonwalk, it's time for a new game at Hello Deli called "Would You Like to Plant a Flag on the Moon?" Rupert brings in a contestant from Yu
  177. 177 177. Sharon Stone, Yeah Yeah Yeahs2004-07-21
  178. 178 178. Matt Damon, Carmelo Anthony, The Hives2004-07-22We watch news footage of Pete Rose's restaurant being looted of everything except a Late Show t-shirt; while addressing the Sandy Berger controversy, Dave unwittingly spits on Tony
  179. 179 179. Brittany Murphy, Paula Poundstone2004-07-23An audience member from Cincinnati suspends a grape in air by blowing on it; Dave comments on Krispy Kreme's new doughnut shake, followed by a fake ad for Burger King's new liquid
  180. 180 180. Holly Hunter, US Olympic Synchronized Swimming Team2004-07-26
  181. 181 181. John McEnroe, Zach Braff2004-07-27With the Olympics approaching, Dave reminds the audience that he's on steroids; a standby audience member calls up Regis and tells him to shove it; Biff makes his second report fro
  182. 182 182. Bob Newhart, 213 with Snoop Dogg2004-07-28A remarkably ornery Dave attempts to apologize to Regis via telephone but hangs up on him, then answers every question on CBS Mailbag with a resilient "who cares?" Also, Bob Newha
  183. 183 183. Natalie Portman, Ambulance LTD2004-07-29Biff tries unsuccessfully to interview Michael Moore; Natalie Portman talks about sleeping with her dog Charlie; Ambulance Ltd. performs "Primative."
  184. 184 184. Rosie Perez, Greg Giraldo2004-07-30Anton (still filling in for Paul) plays "Will It Float?" for the first time; Rosie Perez tells a funny story about an actor who spits when he speaks; Alan Kalter asks Dave to talk
  185. 185 185. Pamela Anderson, Al Franken2004-08-02The guest chairs are replaced and Dave's desk has been altered; during "Who Asked For It?" an audience member vaporizes himself; Pamela Anderson brags about having sex without dati
  186. 186 186. Bill Clinton, Natalie Merchant2004-08-03Former President Clinton discusses a wide variety of topics with Dave, then signs a copy of his book for Harry. Also, Natalie Merchant performs "Sally Ann."
  187. 187 187. Tom Cruise, Dax Shepard2004-08-04Michael Bearden and Anton continue to fill in for Paul, prompting Dave to ask Anton how Paul would respond to some of his comments tonight; during Mailbag, Pat Farmer determines th
  188. 188 188. Gerard Mulligan, Jada Pinkett Smith, Jessica Simpson2004-08-05Dave bids farewell to longtime writer Gerard Mulligan with a sitdown interview and a clip montage heavy on NBC-era footage.
  189. 189 189. Tommy Franks, Greg Giraldo2004-08-06